How do you pay your bills?

There is a lot of debt, as in people that owe money to someone else, in the world today. Of course, in the modern world, it’s pretty normal. We borrow from a bank to buy a car or house. We use a credit card to buy stuff. We receive services like TV, electric and water. The usual thing is that the lenders or providers of these things want to be paid back with money and often with some extra money for their trouble. So, here is a question. How do you feel when you pay back these lenders and providers?

Whether you are financially tight or have more than enough, I think how you feel and think when you pay these people back can have a big impact on YOU. Your energy towards your financial abundance can be a part of or attracting more or repelling it. If you have plenty of money and your always cursing your bills, I’ll promise you your overall abundance will be limited in some way outside of your financial abundance. Same with if your financial abundance is not where you want it to be. Paying back you bills with a more positive attitude (remember, you received some stuff you bought) or at least a lighter way of thinking will really help that stress level that we all can get around bills. Make it a game if you can, celebrate paying off a bill. I often will advise people to make paying bills off a choice. You do not have to pay the electric bill if you do not want to, right?………Your house might be awfully dark at night if you keep choosing that. However, notice the subtle difference, in saying I’m going to choose to pay my electric bill this month and choose to eat at home an extra night (with the lights on) instead of eating out. You may think this is mind games or too simple, but I feel there is huge power in choice and feeling good about how you are feeling while paying your bills.

 

Here is another way at looking at debt from the book, “You can have it all” by Arnold Patent.

“You could think of your debt payment as a “gift” to the a person or a company that gave you something, you might find that repaying a debt is fun. When you give a birthday present to a friend, you feel good. Paying a debt can be similar. When it isn’t fun to pay a bill, it means you are withholding love. This awareness can lead you to increase your love for both yourself and for your creditors. As your love expands, so does your abundance.”

So, my next personal goal, love the IRS:)!!!!!!

Giving and receiving

I have been rereading parts of one of my favorite books, by Arnold Patient, called “You can have it all” and I loved some of his thoughts in his chapter on giving and receiving.

One concept he talks about is what “true” giving is. He offers that true giving follows these 3 criteria:

  1. The giver sincerely wishes for the recipient to have and to enjoy the gift.
  2. The gift is something the giver sincerely believes the receiver wishes to have.
  3. There are no ulterior motives or strings attached by the giver, and the recipient is free to do with the gift as she or he wishes.

This is so simple and at the same time we all can find a giving/receiving exchange we have been in that is missing a point or two. Any of you give something but expect a certain response from the receiver? That’s an ulterior motive, right? Expect NOTHING in return; not even a thank you? Wow, that might take some practice. How do you feel when you’re nice and let a car into your lane ahead of you and you don’t receive a wave or nod back? Do you give a compliment to someone you think is “cool” or “important” and it’s not quite genuine or you can find an ulterior motive why you gave it? Yes, there are lot’s of ways giving and receiving comes into everyday life, not just traditional gift giving.

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Any of you feel obligated to give a gift to a certain person or at a certain time? You aren’t sincerely giving, right? If you’re obligated, what is the energy of the gift like? Positive? Likely not and likely neutral at best. Some say that when the conditions above are not met, the giving and receiving energy in us is kinda “stuck” and not free. What do I mean free? Well, I view this as when I have a practice that meets the above criteria I am creating energy in the movement of giving and receiving. Mr. Patient says this energy is really love, when you get down to the core. I’d have to think about that a bit more, however sounds good to me right now. I believe, whatever the energy that is created will attract more of that same energy. If it’s positive, you attract more of that positive energy around giving and/or receiving gifts. Maybe you end up getting more gifts in some way. Money comes unexpectedly, a compliment comes or just a smile at the checkout isle. Again, no fair giving just to receive later. Ulterior motives, right?

How about this one? Anyone receive a gift and feel you have to keep or use it? Will you stick a gift from mom in the closet and bring it out for display when she comes over? I bet you see now that while your trying to be nice to mom and not hurt her feelings (or other stuff), that energy is NOT clean. Now, I’m not saying we say to mom, “mom that gift stinks” when she gives it to us. That to creates “negative” energy around receiving and, over time, a closet full of stuff you don’t use! A good practice is to always take “in” the gift as positive, no matter what you think of it.

Of course, most of us honestly know that all are gifts we give aren’t going to be perfect. That is, perfect, in the stuff we give. However, giving with positive intentions and that energy (love?) and the criteria above that gift of “energy” IS perfect and allows for more.

 

Don’t be beaten down by naysayers

From a book called, How many people does it take to make a difference? One!

….They call you a dreamer, a do-gooder or a romantic. every time you stand up for a good cause-large or small-someone will roll their eyes or tell you yo sit back down. Robert Kennedy used to say that 20% of the people are against everything all the time. It’s true. There will always be lots of people who can give you all the reasons why you can’t or won’t improve the world. It’s up to you to remind yourself of all the reasons you can and will. Optimism and pessimism are both choices. Notice that some of the most interesting and successful people have chosen to acquire the habit of talking about what they are for rather than what they are against. Be one.

“I realized that idealism is out of sync with cynicism of our age. Skepticism has come to be synonymous with sophistication, and glibness is mistaken for intelligence. In such an atmosphere, why bother aiming high? Far too many people don’t. I just want to reassure people to have courage to persevere, to keep following their hearts when others scoff. Don’t be beaten down by naysayers. Don’t let the odds scare you from even trying”

Schultz, Starbucks CEO

True power is not about force or control…

Abundance guy - True power electricity hitting water

” Most rarely align with their true power, because it seems illogical to them that there is power in relaxation, in letting go, or in love or joy or bliss. Most people do not understand that their true power lies in releasing resistance—which is the only obstacle to their true power.

Most people do not expect their path to great abundance to be one of ease and of joy. They have been taught that struggle and hardship and sacrifice are requirements that must be met before the reward of great abundance can be realized. Most do not understand that the very struggle they deliberately involve themselves in, in their quest for success and advantage, actually works against them.

There are so many things that you have been taught to believe that are counter to the powerful Laws of the Universe that it is difficult for you to think your way out. And that is the reason that we present this path of much less resistance.

We want you to breathe rather than try, to relax rather than offer effort, to smile rather than struggle, to be rather than do. For your true power is experienced only from inside.” Jerry and Esther Hicks

I have experienced this first hand, when I push or force things to happen, I find it hard, difficult or a struggle as they stated in the quote above. The amazing thing was when I actually tried the other way by connecting deeper with myself and letting go of trying to control things or people around me to see it my way, I realized it was much easier and everything I needed was there…

For example, have you ever had the experience when you want something that when you let go of the outcome, you often get it? Think of a business situation or personal relationship where this has been true for you – remember that sale you really let go of and you got it or that relationship where you were true to yourself first and then it worked out for the best. This is the power of aligning with your inner understanding rather than being effected by the events or situation outside of you.

 

Just ask

Asking for what I want is one of my favorite things in conversations I have learned to do more of. Wasn’t really easy at first, for a somewhat shy Midwestern boy, but I practiced and now I’m occasionally asking for some pretty big things. Things I would have never asked in the past. I still feel uncomfortable in certain situations, however, it just feels so much better to be honest with my feelings, intentions and desires. It’s so easy to fall in the trap of hoping the person your wanting something from is going to read your mind. Gosh, if you have been in a relationship long enough, you are supposed to be able to do that, right? Likely, that thinking will lead to disappointment and frustration as I haven’t met many mind readers that get it 100% right out there.

Of course, this doesn’t let us off the hook for being aware of the feelings the people in our relationships are giving off and “helping” them out now and then by checking in with their needs. But, be careful there, if you do this too much, then your trying to read the person so much it circles back to trying to figure out what they want. Though most of us likely don’t do this consciously, we often use some kind of manipulation to TRY to get want you want. If I do this, then can you do this or that for me? Or we go through some elaborate strategy or emotional drama to “guilt” someone into doing what we want. Hey, we have all done it. My view is let’s just clean it up with some honesty and trust that WE will be okay no matter what the outcome of our “asking” is.

Also, this doesn’t mean we always get a yes when we ask for what we want. We can still have some disappointment or frustration to work through, however, with your clear communication, it often leads to greater opportunities to talk about those things that are important to you or maybe work out a “yes” sometime in the future.

 

Why does it seem some people want you NOT to do well?

In my abundance practice I have run across this occasionally. Where it seems like some people dislike others that are doing well. This can sometimes show up in the media. An anti success bias or something like that. If your doing well, especially financially, something is wrong with you or you’re bad for accumulating wealth or because you are wealthy you took advantage of someone somehow…..If you’re wealthy you’re guilty of something!

I think there is a lot tied up into this kinda of thinking whether its jealousy, judgement, guilt, someone’s own lack, personal, religious and societal beliefs, etc. Certainly they are many wealthy people that, trying find something less negative to say, have not been the best role models of wealth! Of course, often when people have negative views about wealth they often “see” only the negative side of wealth. A fancy car cuts them off on the highway, a financial scandal on the news, a wealth boss that treats them badly, etc. Its always interesting in my practice to hear individuals who want to attract more wealth in their lives, but dislike “wealth” in many ways. In my opinion, attracting more wealth with these conflicting beliefs and desires is challenging at best.

The first thing I often have people do with this thinking, is just start looking for the “good” in wealth. A person makes a gift to their school that enables computers to be purchased, have an appreciation for something specific that wealth can buy whether for yourself or others, a business owner or investor that created a product you like or use. This may seem small, but if your wanting to attract more wealth I feel you must believe that wealth is actually good or your beliefs, thoughts and actions will be out of alignment. Hard to change anything when your out of alignment as its kinda like the concept that a negative (thought about wealth) cancels out a positive one. I like my clients to create and build up their positive thoughts so they create momentum and reprogram old ways of thinking. Many say “you are what you eat”, I belief we are and create what we think!

 

Quote

“Continuing to tell stories of shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. A different story will bring different results: My thoughts are the basis for the attraction of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money, and health, for my comfort and joy”.

Excerpted from: Money and the Law of Attraction on August 31, 2008

Our Love,
Esther (and Abraham and Jerry)

How’s your “thought” bank account around money?

I hear the use of affirmations recommended a lot these days, that’s its important to think positive to make changes.  A good start, however, if we want more money in our life, for example, positive thinking alone usually doesn’t have enough power to create a change. The reason we haven’t attracted the money we desire in the past is usually a old belief that is blocking monetary abundance from flowing to us. We can consciously or more often unconsciously create our own “wall” that blocks money from coming. Of course, helping people become aware of their walls and helping with the tools to tear it down is what I love to do. Continue reading “How’s your “thought” bank account around money?”

It’s May…How are those new years resolutions going?

I read somewhere that 97% of new years resolutions fail. Not sure how someone comes up with a stat like that, but kinda makes sense to me. Usually, we have made large “resolutions”, sometimes even things we have been wanting to do for years. Fill in the “thing” for you. In tackling these resolutions, there can be some things that get in the way of creating new habits to lasting change, often emotions and old ways of thinking leading the list. What I have come to believe is that whatever we want to accomplish has a much better chance of working and lasting past January if we break down those resolutions into smaller steps.   Small steps often allow us to move through these emotions and old ways of thinking much slower so we allow ourselves time to adjust to our new habits. If your used to seeing yourself 30 pounds overweight, and you are unhappy about it, you have probably have an ongoing way of thinking about yourself when it comes to your weight. A story you, and others, may say over and over again. I am not a psychiatrist, however, even if you could lose 30 pounds in one day your thoughts of “old self” will not have lost “the weight”. When we take a new habit and break it down into smaller steps that are more easily achievable it helps keeps our negative thinking a bit more in check. Actually, there is a book on small steps I really like called “One small step can change your life” by Robert Mauer. He brings up what I have read in other places is that the part of our brain, the amygdala, that controls our fight or flight response is very sensitive to new things. Sensitive, in that it often senses fear in most new things, and will actually put up mental and emotional road blocks to doing the new thing. This part of the brain was a lot more useful when we were cave women and men where danger and death was often around the corner. It kept us from wandering too far, eating new things, leaving the cave at night. But now, most of us, really do not need to be as overly sensitive and the way we are designed has not caught up with the last 20,000 years or so. Actually, in my abundance work, I sometimes see people feel better about this (me too!), that their problems with integrating new habits have probably much more to do with the way we are designed than what we think is just our own lack of discipline.   To get around this “design flaw” Dr. Mauer recommends this small step strategy I’m eluding to. Make your steps to your goal so small that it keeps this part of our brain in check. For example, if your trying to loose 30 pounds, how about focusing on loosing one pound a month, if that is not scary to you. You keep the fear down, because the brain says, “wow, I don’t have to change my whole life right

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away, I can lose just one pound by doing this or that”. My personal one, is that I have been desiring to add more stretching to my daily routine. Right now, I’m doing 4 different stretches, 10 seconds each, every day. Only 40 seconds, my “brain” isn’t scared. Next step… I’m just leaving my yoga mat on the floor, as a visual reminder. Mostly I trip over it more than I do any stretches, but some days I do a bit more. Part of the practice is to give myself credit for these little steps. Of course, sometimes my negative thinking pops in and says negative crap or judges my small steps. I can’t control my thinking, so I let my brain think whatever it wants and practice choosing not believing those negative thoughts and just come back when I’m ready to pat myself on the back for my small steps. As a guide, if your not accomplishing a step you make for yourself repeatedly, likely your not making your steps small enough. What many people find with a small step practice is you allow momentum to build and you allow some of your old ways of thinking to slowly change so your habits are much more likely to be permanent. As the old proverb says:   a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Feel better by shifting your focus from problems to solutions

Focus on solutions instead of problems - Abundance Guy

“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them.”

 

Read this quote somewhere and reminded me that when we are in our problems we are often focused so much on them, that our thinking becomes self fulfilling……Focus on problem, the problem remains, gets bigger or more problems surface…..When we are stuck in/on the “problem”, we are in the “energy” or thinking of that problem. We think over and over about the problem.  Play it over in our mind, again and again, I believe staying in the “problem energy”.

Let’s say we have a problem with a person that “created” a problem for you. What someone said or did. Staying in what was said or done, will not change anything of course. What was said or done is over and in the past. Talking consistently about it will only keep you in the situation of the past. That situation has an energy to it, like a vibration, and I believe affects not only your thinking, but your body and its health and vitality. Think of the difference you feel and your energy you have when you have a pleasant conversation versus an argument. One you feel fresh and light and the other drained, sometimes physically AND emotionally.

I Kinda like to think that each old thought of this “problem” as you are bring it (the thought of the problem) into the present like an anchor. Having to bring the thoughts (the anchor) of the past forward into the present. If we had no judgement on the issue, we would just move on, right? But, sometimes we instead carry the burdens of the past forward or we choose to be right versus happy and free. We love to blame things on others, it’s easy, their not there to speak the other side, so we talk about how THEY have affected our lives. It’s their fault. Of course, this gives our power away as now the problem can only get fixed if someones else does something. Good Luck on finding long term happiness when others actions determine your happiness!  I get caught up on that one personally sometimes. Also, we can be often be just unconsciously stuck in negatively. I occasionally see people that seem to like stress and negativity over peacefulness, almost like an addiction, without being aware of it.

In situations like I’m describing are conscious, we know where the “problem” came from, however, there are also unconscious thoughts and beliefs that we have built up over the years that we are repeating. It’s like we are in a circle or whirlpool that can be difficult to get out of without a new way of looking or thinking about the problem. Sometimes these “circles” can last for a long time, a lifetime, dragging the negative energy of the past into your present moment. In my breath work, I see this all the time. Energy that is stuck from old issues, literally stored in the body, even though the “mind” thought it has cleared the problem. The breath is just one tool that can help move this.

Another simple one, is to focus on solutions. Forget the past (easier said than done with our egos), and just focus on what you need to do NOW………..I am not saying to suppress or not feel emotions. Expressing emotions are healthy, getting stuck in those, in my opinion, is not. My view is, let your emotions move and complete and move on. I believe that can start by just the focusing and thinking about the solution over and over. Solution, solution, solution……Just that shift in awareness alone is so powerful. Maybe it will take some small steps to get started towards an eventual solution. I believe ANY small step can get progress flowing in the right direction.

I have a friend that had some health issues in the past and I always admired how she refused to see herself as “sick”. She focused on the solutions to her “issues” even when it was and sometimes is challenging for her when solutions were foggy. Among other things, she is just repeating to herself, “I am healthy”, over and over, again and again. She continues to improve to this day even though doctors do not really know what’s “wrong” with her. Our thoughts and actions are so powerful!

Like anything else its a practice and my clients and myself find we just feel better when we focus on the solution.